Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Couples Retreat

I just returned from a couples weekend down the shore. (For all you non-Garden Staters: people from NJ "go down the shore" whereas people from everywhere else "go to the beach."). Being a Jersey girl myself, I went down the shore with seven other Jersey natives: my husband, three of his childhood friends and all of the guys' significant others. We stayed at our friend's family home in Sea Girt, New Jersey. (Her parents are snowbirds now, so the place was all ours.) We ate, drank and just hung out. There is something so special about all staying under one roof for a whole weekend. I feel fortunate to have a true bond with my hubby's home friends and their ladies. It reminded me of an article I'd re-read recently depicting the friendship, and falling out, between two couples. It's an oldie but goodie from Salon. 

The article recounts the story of two couples: Ann and her husband John, and Sara and Greg. The four forty-somethings hit it off and quickly become best couple friends. They become so close, they all feel like family. But alas, eventually their relationship fizzles, much to Ann's dismay. What went wrong? There wasn't one significant event, but in retrospect it boiled down to oversharing. Ann had made the big mistake of complaining to Sara and Greg about a fight with John. This led to taking sides, and ultimately to the demise of the foursome. 

Spolier alert: After things fall apart with Sara and Greg, Ann and John eventually find new best couple friends. This foursome is healthier though. Ann explains, "[W]e don’t get emotionally tangled in each other’s intimate lives or occupy each other’s homes." It turns out that's the key to an enduring best couples friends relationship. 

Here's to many more couples weekends, and just the right amount of sharing.

[Couple Seeks Other Couple, Ann Bauer, Salon, 5/1/12]

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